Jumper

Since throwing out my beloved blazer I’ve been having jacket issues. I do love my replacement leather jacket, but a) it’s slippery and therefore doesn’t work well with the Ergo – I have to keep yanking up the Ergo straps to keep them on my shoulders, which is difficult because b) I can’t bend my arms as freely as I’d like to while wearing my jacket, and I now know that arm-bending is quite handy and not being able to bend your arms freely is quite annoying. You’d be surprised at the number of things one is required to bend one’s arms for each day. I miss my old jacket.

I’ve been saving my too-slippery-not-very-bendy leather jacket for Exciting Outings and wearing my two Engage jackets for everything else, but that means I spend a sad amount of my time in polar fleece and also appear to be sponsored by a conference that I haven’t actually attended for 6 years. What to do? I went to Westfield with Hazel and made myself so hot trying on jumpers and jackets that I stripped down to a t-shirt and balked at the idea of having to put anything wintery on again, and when I realised that my sole purpose in being at the shops was to find something wintery to put on, I gave up and came home.

And then I thought I’d give online shopping a burl because that’s what people do these days, apparently, and I want to be like people. But I don’t know how to shop online without ridiculous amounts of scrolling and hmming time, and the amount of scrolling time I spend is not just because I’m indecisive and get panicky about buying things from the internet, it’s because of stupid results like this:

You can filter out the sizes you don’t want and the colours you don’t want, but there’s no box to tick to say you like your jumpers to keep wind out and, oh yeah, NOT HAVE SUPERFLUOUS HOLES. Guess how much this is? GUESS. I was looking through jumpers that were mostly priced at less than $40 on sale – does that help? IT’S $401.96!!!!!!!!!!! (It’s actually on sale for just over $205.88, but still. $205.88!!!!!!)

I’ve given up. For the 173rd time in my life, I’m considering learning how to knit (I already know I won’t do it, but pretending to consider it makes me feel like there’s hope). Until then, polar fleece is my friend. My warm and daggy friend.