Food

from here

I’ve become a cranky lady in cafés recently; I’m now the type who looks at a menu and gasps over prices. I paid $6.20 for a regular-(what does that mean, anyway?)-sized milk beverage at an establishment that may or may not have started with ‘G’ and ended with ‘loria Jeans’. SIX DOLLARS TWENTY!!! I could buy six litres of milk for less than that.

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5 things I’ve learned about food:

1. Cookie dough is yummier than cookies.
2. Coriander makes everything taste delicious.
3. Eating a piece of juicy fruit (actual fruit, not the chewing gum) when you first wake up is better for morning sickness than trying to eat dry crackers. Dry crackers when you’re already low on saliva makes no sense at all. Very ripe nectarines are perfect. Oranges are also good, but tend to get stuck in your teeth. (The chewing gum might also be good, but I haven’t tried it.)
4. Cake mixture is yummier than cake. 
5. Jelly crystals are yummier than jelly.

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Three times now I’ve eaten something terrible believing it to be something else: the first time I licked up what I thought was flour and found it was actually talcum powder. The second time I dabbed up some icing sugar from the bench with a moistened fingertip and tasted it, only to discover that it was in fact dishwasher powder.* And then last week I made the icing sugar mistake again, except this time it turned out to be bacon fat instead. Fool me once, icing sugar, shame on you. Fool me twice, and it’s probably time to admit I have a problem. My mum recently ate a cockroach wing thinking it was part of a date, so perhaps it’s hereditary.

 

* For those wondering, the talcum powder tasted just like it smells, and the dishwasher powder was quite sour and a little bit burny.