There are three certainties in my life: death, taxes, and being perpetually shocked at the day and/or date. I spend my entire year crying out to anyone who’ll listen, “It’s THURSDAY! I thought it was Wednesday, but it’s a WHOLE DAY LATER!” or “It’s nearly June! JUNE! Can you believe it?! We’re nearly halfway through this year!!!!!!!!” I can’t help it.
Do you ever put food in the microwave and then do something else and realise with surprise how little time that something else takes because you finish it and then notice that the microwave’s still microwaving? It’s always a nice reality check, because I tend to put things off because I think they’ll take forever, but these microwave moments make me see, “Look! I just brought in that washing and my leftover chow mein is still heating up!” It takes less than two minutes to bring in a half-load of washing from the verandah, apparently. I didn’t know that before.
When I hear concepts that sound difficult I sort them into two mental boxes: “Things that I could probably understand if I really tried”, and “Things that I will never understand no matter how hard I try”. Radio waves and television signals and digital channels fall into the latter box. Also in that box is the time difference between here and Perth. There are announcements on Triple J saying that Western Australians should call now for a show that won’t come on for another few hours, and I used to think hard about how that was possible, but now I just tell my boggling mind to let it go. It’s in the “Never” box; I shouldn’t waste my time.