Friday, September 13, 2013

Expectations

As I mentioned in a previous post, I was told while pregnant with Hazel that when she was born I should spend time with Moses while she slept, presumably because she would require most of my attention while awake and this way Moses would still enjoy some quality one-on-one mum time. It’s great advice, but it assumes that the baby will kindly stagger her sleep times; mine obviously never received that memo. In reality, theyre usually both awake at the same time, which means a lot of my day involves being yelled at by one child while I tend to the needs of the other, or, if I put my foot down and insist on doing something extravagant for myself like eating breakfast or showering, being yelled at by both children at the same time.

Throughout my pregnancy with Hazel I never worried that I’d have enough love to cover both her and Moses, I knew I would. It turns out my time is harder than my heart to divide. I expected to be my best mothery self for both kids, making the most of the moments I had alone with each; instead, there isn’t much time alone with either, and I mostly feel like I’m split in two (three, if I include myself), always neglecting at least one person.

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Since Hazel arrived, I’ve noticed how limited Mos energy and volume settings are.
The other day I caught myself feeling irritated and thinking, “This boy is driving me crazy!” I realised not long after that he was just acting like a three-year-old, and in fact its been me driving myself crazy by expecting him not to.

5 comments:

  1. Glad you're chronicling this! I need to learn :)

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    1. You were on my mind when I was writing this: "Mustn't sound too overwhelmed so as not to freak Karen out." :)

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  2. Gosh, that sounds tough! Does that mean their sleeps coincide (assuming Mo is still having a sleep)? Because I would imagine with a newborn your energy is quite limited in the first place!

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    1. It does mean their sleeps coincide (or at least overlap), which gives me a chance to write blog posts like this one (when I should maybe be napping instead)... :) I think Mo's the one missing out most; I'm still getting used to that.

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  3. Yes, I can imagine that's really tough! A big transition for both of you.

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