Diary from the last couple of months, in haiku

from here

Think I have a bug;

feeling dizzy and dogdy

Wait, what date is it?

Test is positive!

Excited: Another bub!

Scared: Last time... What if?

Ugh, I feel awful

Hate nausea, love sleeping

And fruit fruit fruit. Mmmm.

Discover Pringles:

crunch plus salt equals perfect

Stuff fruit, man. PRINGLES!

Morning sickness sucks

Especially when it lasts

all afternoon, too

I hate acting well

when I’d really rather die

Somebody kill me

Toddler seems concerned:

“What happened to my mummy?

She used to be fun”

The first ultrasound

Please, God, let all be okay

Please please please please please...

So the ultrasound

Went better than expected

Two times better: Twins

One, two. One, two, three

That’s an instant family!

No more kids for us!

Twins! How will this work?

Two babies to feed, to bathe

It was tough with one

Husband goes hunting,

finds the perfect twin stroller

Takes me back to look

It feels doable

More so now I’ve read a book

about septuplets...

Spewing is awful

Spewing in public is worse

Pregnancy hates me

Sick sick sick sick sick

Groan groan groan groan groan groan groan

Spew spew spew spew spew

Second ultrasound

8 and a half weeks along

Anxious. Wondering

I climb on the bed
Present my bare tummy, sigh
The nurse approaches

She squirts me with gel
Presses gently with her wand
Moves, presses again

I watch the small screen 
And I try to interpret
The grainy image:

Two little peanuts

lying next to each other;

neither heart beating.

We finish the day

Play, eat, put Moses to bed

Staying calm for him

Then Alan and I

curl up and cry together

Once again undone