Jumper

Since throwing out my beloved blazer I’ve been having jacket issues. I do love my replacement leather jacket, but a) it’s slippery and therefore doesn’t work well with the Ergo – I have to keep yanking up the Ergo straps to keep them on my shoulders, which is difficult because b) I can’t bend my arms as freely as I’d like to while wearing my jacket, and I now know that arm-bending is quite handy and not being able to bend your arms freely is quite annoying. You’d be surprised at the number of things one is required to bend one’s arms for each day. I miss my old jacket.

I’ve been saving my too-slippery-not-very-bendy leather jacket for Exciting Outings and wearing my two Engage jackets for everything else, but that means I spend a sad amount of my time in polar fleece and also appear to be sponsored by a conference that I haven’t actually attended for 6 years. What to do? I went to Westfield with Hazel and made myself so hot trying on jumpers and jackets that I stripped down to a t-shirt and balked at the idea of having to put anything wintery on again, and when I realised that my sole purpose in being at the shops was to find something wintery to put on, I gave up and came home.

And then I thought I’d give online shopping a burl because that’s what people do these days, apparently, and I want to be like people. But I don’t know how to shop online without ridiculous amounts of scrolling and hmming time, and the amount of scrolling time I spend is not just because I’m indecisive and get panicky about buying things from the internet, it’s because of stupid results like this:

You can filter out the sizes you don’t want and the colours you don’t want, but there’s no box to tick to say you like your jumpers to keep wind out and, oh yeah, NOT HAVE SUPERFLUOUS HOLES. Guess how much this is? GUESS. I was looking through jumpers that were mostly priced at less than $40 on sale – does that help? IT’S $401.96!!!!!!!!!!! (It’s actually on sale for just over $205.88, but still. $205.88!!!!!!)

I’ve given up. For the 173rd time in my life, I’m considering learning how to knit (I already know I won’t do it, but pretending to consider it makes me feel like there’s hope). Until then, polar fleece is my friend. My warm and daggy friend.

Skin #2

from here

When I was pregnant with Mo, my skin stayed the same as normal (which is to say quite bad), or possibly even worsened. When I was pregnant with Hazel, my skin was blemish-free and beautiful. Even though she’s nearly 1 now, I’m still getting used to having my usual skin back after those 9 months of perfection.

Last winter, I was pregnant with Hazel and therefore my skin looked amazing. This winter, I am not pregnant with Hazel. My skin does not look amazing. It is instead dry and flaky and spotty. I look like a Weetbix with pimples. I miss my pregnant-with-Hazel skin.

Did you notice the ad says “teen-age skin problems“? *weeps*

Word pictures

Last week, the inside of my head looked like this:

I made this here

This week, the inside of my head looks like this:

Plus a little bit of snot...

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This is how my days often feel:

I can only imagine that staying up until 2am would cause my brain to explode from all the joyness.

Food

from here

I’ve become a cranky lady in cafés recently; I’m now the type who looks at a menu and gasps over prices. I paid $6.20 for a regular-(what does that mean, anyway?)-sized milk beverage at an establishment that may or may not have started with ‘G’ and ended with ‘loria Jeans’. SIX DOLLARS TWENTY!!! I could buy six litres of milk for less than that.

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5 things I’ve learned about food:

1. Cookie dough is yummier than cookies.
2. Coriander makes everything taste delicious.
3. Eating a piece of juicy fruit (actual fruit, not the chewing gum) when you first wake up is better for morning sickness than trying to eat dry crackers. Dry crackers when you’re already low on saliva makes no sense at all. Very ripe nectarines are perfect. Oranges are also good, but tend to get stuck in your teeth. (The chewing gum might also be good, but I haven’t tried it.)
4. Cake mixture is yummier than cake. 
5. Jelly crystals are yummier than jelly.

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Three times now I’ve eaten something terrible believing it to be something else: the first time I licked up what I thought was flour and found it was actually talcum powder. The second time I dabbed up some icing sugar from the bench with a moistened fingertip and tasted it, only to discover that it was in fact dishwasher powder.* And then last week I made the icing sugar mistake again, except this time it turned out to be bacon fat instead. Fool me once, icing sugar, shame on you. Fool me twice, and it’s probably time to admit I have a problem. My mum recently ate a cockroach wing thinking it was part of a date, so perhaps it’s hereditary.

 

* For those wondering, the talcum powder tasted just like it smells, and the dishwasher powder was quite sour and a little bit burny.