The not-great picture above is Hazel at 6 months old, trying to fit her foot into her mouth while simultaneously breastfeeding.
Hazel has decided to wean herself. At first it was only the right boob she was rejecting (my left boob was feeling quite smug for a bit), but then she gave up on the left one too (“HA HA!” said my right). I was planning to wean her around 18 months, as I had with Mo, and I wondered, when she first started refusing my milk, if maybe I’d feel sad if she gave up breastfeeding earlier. Now that she has given up earlier, I can report that I’m not feeling sad. I’m actually proud of her proactivity. When she is older and repeatedly wants to do things her way rather than my way, I will probably use different words for it.
I’ve started noticing Judd Apatow’s name far more this year; I’ve only recently realised that he’s linked with a couple of my favourite movies (Anchorman and Bridesmaids) as well as with the TV show Girls, which I’m still loving post-season-two. I’ve started watching things I see his name attached to, which is what led me to This is 40, a film he wrote, directed and produced. I liked it; it was stupid and funny and fairly spot on in its depiction of marriage (especially the lack of mystery after years of living together [I remember reading a marriage book during our engagement which encouraged spouses to use separate bathrooms if possible, to preserve some mystery. LOL]).
I particularly loved the scene in This is 40 where Debbie’s dad is proudly showing her photos of his new kids (her half-siblings) and she appears to be weirded out by it (it is weird! I’ve never seen this played out on screen before! I loved it!), and also (and this is what reminded me of the movie in the first place) the scene where Debbie’s admiring her employee’s breasts and explains to said employee that her own boobs look the way they do because her kids “sucked the meat out of” them. This is exactly how I’d describe my boobs to anyone who bothered to ask.
So my breastfeeding days are now over. My favourite thing about feeding was making my babies smile as they sucked; I’ll miss that. And the snuggles in the morning. I’ll miss that too. Okay, so maybe I feel a little bit sad.